Take it All Away
by lilkitty26
Summary: Yet another take on Spuffy, post 'The Gift.' Angsty spuffy goodness. Plz r and r!


_Everything's so blurry_

_And everyone's so fake_

_And everybody's empty_

_And everything is so messed up_

_Preoccupied without you_

_I cannot live at all_

_My whole world surrounds you_

_I stumbled and I crawled _

She was gone...but now she is back again. Dawn interrupted my angry spiel about running away and suddenly all the words I was saying just died in my throat as I saw the Slayer descend the stairs and walk toward me. She seemed to move in slow motion, an unholy look of despair in her once vibrant green eyes...eyes that could stare down the biggest nasty or light up in an instant when something caught her fancy. My feet seemed to be stuck to the bloody floor and all I could do was stare...my jaw was about one second from falling open and Dawn's words sounded muddled and far away as she asked if I was ok. I didn't answer the Nibblet, just made my feet take the two steps that was required to close the distance between Buffy and I. Gently I took the Slayer's hands and noticed the torn and bleeding flesh.

"Her hands." I heard myself say, the words sounding strange and foreign even as I heard them come from my mouth.

"I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that," Dawn rambled.

I turned back to Buffy, she was staring ahead sightlessly.

"I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right," I asked, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Yeah...that's what I had to do," she said dazedly.

"Done it myself. We'll take care of you."

It seemed all I could manage were short little sentences, as if my brain were incapable of structuring much more than that. I hastily told the Bit to get bandages and mecurochrome and then led Buffy to the sofa where she sat gingerly. I sat across from her on the coffee table, her hands still in mine. Her fingers were cold and I squeezed them gently, but my eyes never left hers. She blinked a few times and then her eyes seemed to focus on me at last, no longer staring blindly ahead.

"How long was I gone?" she asked in a feather soft voice and a lump rose in my throat.

"Hundred forty-seven days yesterday... um, one-forty-eight today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it? How long was it for you...where you were?"

Buffy eyes didn't blink, her posture didn't relax, she simply stared ahead glassy eyed.

"Longer," was her soft-spoken reply and immediately I felt something inside of me break.

_And you could be mysomeone_

_You can be my scene_

_You know that I'll protect you_

_From all of the obscene_

_I wonder what you're doing_

_Imagine where you are_

_There's oceans in-between us_

_But that's not very far_

Then the gang came back, rushing through the front door one by one--each one shouting at Buffy--all talking at once. It was all I could do to not break into a run, that was how fast I got out of there. The tears were falling fast and furious. I could hardly wipe them away they came so quickly. I stood behind the tree in front of her house and pressed my palms to my face--that's when I heard Xander say my name. Immediately I stalked from behind the tree and faced the wanker and his bird. I had worked beside them all summer and they hadn't had the bloody gall to say a damn word that they were planning to do this--what was it that they had done? The fools! Didn't they know what in bleedin hell they were dealing with?

"That's the thing about magic. There's always consequences."

_Can you take it all away_

_Can you take it all away_

_Well you shoved it in my face_

_This pain you gave to me_

_Can you take it all away_

_Can you take it all away_

_Well you shoved it my face_

_This pain you gave to me_

I couldn't think, could barely register a single coherent thought. God damn, she was back. Suddenly the world looked like a different place...now that she was back in it. Was I happy? Did I care? I knew the answers to both of those questions, but I dared not think them. I closed my eyes and could still see her blank stare, as if she were operating outside of herself, watching from afar as her body moved from space to space. I can't remember how long I sat alone in my crypt, staring into space...and then the tears...the bloody tears...

I ended up in the alley behind the Magic Box the next day. Didn't know why I thought it important to be here, but something inside of me had drawn me here, to wait for her. Then, as if she'd heard me she stepped out into the alleyway and our eyes connected.

"I can be alone with you here," she said softly, her golden hair whipping in the breeze. It was longer now, having grown at least three inches when she'd been de-...gone. Couldn't bear to think the other word. I regarded her evenly as she dazedly walked over to a bunch of crates stacked on top each other and took a seat. She hadn't said much so far and I was hesitant to start a conversation. I crossed my arms across my chest and slouched against the brick building behind us.

"Buff? Slayer? You okay?"

"I'm here. I'm good."

"Buffy, if you're in-- if you're in pain. Or if you need anything... If I can help you..."

"You can't."

"Well, I haven't been to a Hell dimension just of late, but I know a thing or two about torment--". I went to sit down beside her and suddenly words were coming out of her mouth and as she said them I was frozen, numb and all I could do was listen to what she had to say. Just listen.

_Nobody told me what you thought_

"I was happy. Wherever I ... was ... I was happy."

_Nobody told me what to say_

"At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it."

_Everyone showed you where to turn_

"Time didn't mean anything, nothing had form... but I was still me, you know?"

_Showed you when to run away_

"And I was warm and I was loved... and I was finished. Complete."

_Nobody told you where to hide_

"I don't understand about dimensions or theology or any of ... but I think I was in heaven."

_Nobody told you what to say_

"And now I'm not. I was torn out of there...by my friends."

_Everyone showed you where to turn_

"Everything here is bright and hard and violent...Everything I feel, everything I touch...this is Hell."

_Showed you when to run away_

"Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that...knowing what I've lost ..."

_Can you take it all away_

"They can never know. Never."

_Can you take it all away_

_Well you shoved it in my face_

_This pain you gave to me_

_Can you take it all away_

_Can you take it all away_

_Well you shoved it in my face_

_This pain you gave to me_

_This pain you give to me_

_You take it all_

_You take it all away_

_Explain again to me_

_You take it all away_


End file.
